Dear Annie: I work 80 hours a week to support our family, and my fiancé complains that I’m never home
Dear Annie: I have been with my fiancé for five years. We have a child together, and she will be 2 years old. Well, when our child was four months old, my fiancé quit his job because of his health, and I went back to work full time. It’s been over a year now, and he’s been cleared to work. But he did not do it. He didn’t even try to find a job.
In order to make sure our bills are paid, I had to accept two full-time jobs. I am exhausted all the time. I try to talk to him, but he always says he will watch, and he does but gives up very quickly. He complains that I’m never home. He complains that I go to bed too early. But what are you waiting for? I work more than 80 hours a week!
I try to give her as much respite as possible with our child when I get home, but I’m starting to resent her a little. I never have time to work on anything. I need advice. What do I do? I know he has underlying depression, but he won’t seek help. — About to lose my mind
Dear on the verge of losing: You are in the middle of the ultimate lose-lose-lose situation. Your fiancé can’t just provide for the family; he’s also far from the right headspace to be a partner or a father either. You, the sole breadwinner, are beyond exhaustion, bitterness and the loss of the joys of being a mother because you are delaying everything around you. Together, this equals bad news for your daughter, who deserves a functional, loving, and fulfilling family life.
After two years of standing still, it’s time to sit down with your fiancé. He needs to start working again immediately, at least something part-time to start with, so you can go from two full-time jobs to one. Some type of counseling is essential for both of you to deal with her depression and get your marriage back on track. You can no longer be the only one fighting for your family. Now it’s his turn.
Dear Annie: What is proper etiquette for constantly knocking or wiggling at the button of a public restroom when the door is clearly locked? I have this problem at my workplace. I find it embarrassing that people do this when the door is clearly locked.
What are your thoughts? — Royal flush
Dear Royal Flush: The most polite way to approach a potentially occupied toilet cubicle is to knock briefly. As you mentioned, shaking a doorknob can make a bathroom user uncomfortable, or worse, could expose one who forgot to lock themselves in privacy.
If you say out loud, “Busy! or “Someone is there!”, there will be no chance of a colleague trying to use a key thinking the bathroom is empty.
Since you said you’re having this problem at work, you might want to ask HR or someone in the office to friendly remind staff of the restroom rules.
Send your questions for Annie Lane to [email protected].
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